Wasting away in mind-pollutionville

I detest infomercials and cannot think of any less imaginative way to run a television station than to air mindless infomercials. Here in Greater Lansing they seem to be the programming du jour when stations have nothing better to do or are too lazy to be imaginative. Long gone are the golden days of television where local entertainment programming greeted you in the morning, filled the lunch hour, and welcomed you home in the evening.

I understand there is little cost and lots of profit built into broadcasting infomercials, but they seem to be yet another example of the dumbing down and wasting away of society in general and entertainment in particular. If signs personify visual pollution, then these “shows” and I use that word loosely, are simply mind pollution of the airwaves.

Why not create original programming, play reruns, show cartoons, or how about educational programming? My bet is more than one station manager has claimed infomercials to be education – for numbed minds, perhaps.

Someday, somewhere, some enterprising person is gonna fill the vast void of dumbness with something unique and fun. When they do, they are going to do very, very well. Let’s all hope our minds can still function at that point.

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When did ending subsides for big oil start being called a tax increase?

Even dubya doesn’t get it.

A month or two ago I wrote my Congressman, Republican Mike Rogers about ending subsidies for oil and gas companies. Today, I received a response in the mail. His letter was very cordial and polite, but the logic of his argument is simply laughable.

“Like you, I am concerned with the high price of oil and gasoline, and I believe that the oil industry must be closely monitored for anti-trust violations. That said, I have serious concerns with raising taxes on any employers, especially now when Americans are struggling to pay for gasoline.” (underline emphasis added)

SOURCE: Letter from Mike Rogers dated July 10, 2012

Are you freakin’ kidding me? Eliminating subsidies is raising taxes? Who the hell came up with that logic? Since when did eliminating a subside become a tax increase? Sir, these idiotic subsides cost all of us from $10-52 billion per year. That’s money that could be put too much better use funding renewable energy, feeding the malnourished, carrying for the poor and unemployed, or at the very least helping homeless veterans.

“In the United States, credible estimates of annual fossil fuel subsidies range from $10 billion to $52 billion annually, while even efforts to remove small portions of those subsidies have been defeated in Congress, as shown in the graphic below.  Download your own pdf copy here.” SOURCE: priceofoil.org

Meanwhile, Congressman, big oil reaps larger and larger profits at our expense. According to priceofoil.org,

“ the top five oil companies alone have made almost a trillion dollars in profit in the last decade.“ 

So, I have no idea where Congressman Rogers gets the idea that ending subsides amounts to a tax increase. My guess is some anal-retentive GOP think tank funded by big oil came up with that bilge of an argument. All I know is it is one of the most illogical things I have ever heard, let alone read.

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There’s no doubt it’s a serious drought when…

• You can use your lawn as sandpaper or a bristle brush.
  

  Source: examiner.com

• Shade is for rent by the hour.
• Wrigley’s stops selling Rain chewing gum in your town.
• Arid Extra Dry sells out in all the stores.
• Vultures start circling you when you are outside.
• Camels decide to migrate to your town.
• Climate change deniers evaporate (their ideas are all wet).
• Bookings for rain forest vacations jump exponentially.
• You could bake a cake on the driveway.
• Businesses finally learn to stop watering their asphalt and concrete with sprinklers.
• The scorpions come to town (the insects not the band).
• Bald becomes beautiful again.
• You wish it was January.
• Everyone has the dry heaves.
• No one wants to grill out anymore.
• You feel like you are being sandblasted on windy days.
• Fish sue!
• Lightning bugs are required to douse their lights to prevent wildfires.
• Car washes clean by only spit and polish.
• There is absolutely no need for crop dusters.
• Even Endust is overwhelmed.
• Spit and urine are hoarded.
• It stops being humorous – which for many it unfortunately has (see photo below).

Source wowo.com

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“This land is your land” – a 2012 eco-version

Source: mallmemories.com

Saturday, July 14th will be the 100th anniversary of Woody Guthrie’s birth. To honor him and express this eco-bicyclist”s concern beyond those expressed his original lyrics, here is a modified version of Woody Guthrie’s classic folk song This Land is Your Land. The original lyrics written by Mr. Guthrie may be seen through this weblink.

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This land is your land, this land is my land

From Car-lifornia to Wall Street canyons

From clear-cut forests to oil-stained waters

This wasteland was allowed by you and me

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As I was pedaling – a crowded highway

I saw above me – a concrete skyway

I saw below me – more golden arches

This wasteland was made by you and me

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Chorus

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I’ve roamed on cell towers  – and taken exits

To sprawling cities - paved over deserts

And all around me – neon signs were shouting

This wasteland was made by you and me

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Chorus

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The sun dawns hazy - as I was rolling

Weeds were waving  – and dust was falling

As the smog now settles - voices start shouting

This wasteland was made by you and me

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Chorus

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As I tried walking – no sidewalks for me

As I tried biking – drivers scowl right at me

Few remaining places - of peace and safety

Those are the ones for you and me

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Chorus

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Throughout  our cities – empty seas of asphalt

Are clearly saying – whose really’s at fault

And some are grumblin’ – and some are wonderin’

Why this wasteland was allowed by you and me?

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Chorus x 2

(Lyrics based on original song by Woody Guthrie)

Happy 100th Birthday, Woody!

Source: en.wikipedia.org

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Ten ways to be ready for the next heat wave

Source: nitrofreeze.com

• Repair you snowblower so you mind is fixed on cold things.
• Have 200 pounds of ice ready to put in your bathtub for soaking.
• Install a walk-in freezer for your kitchen.
• Buy stock in slushies, smoothies, snow cones, Eskimo Pies, ice cream bars, ice cream, sherbert, gelato, and anything else cold.
• Wear your winter wardrobe all summer and then take it off when the temps hit 90F. You’ll at least know what your dog feels like.
• Buy a dvd of the movie Ice Station Zebra or The Day After Tomorrow to watch over and over again.
• Move to a cave.
• Buy a tuxedo and install a penguin pool.
• Learn to hibernate in summer.
• Buy Michael Jackson’s cryogenic freeze chamber at a local garage sale or auction.

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A severe shortage of global cooling

With yet another day in triple digits here in Michigan, one has to ask if this prolonged heat wave is linked to global warming and climate change. Personally, I believe it most certainly is.

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However, there are folks out there who sincerely believe global warming is a farce. While I totally disagree with them, perhaps there is one thing we can agree on – there definitely is a severe shortage of global cooling. The charts below shows temperature trends since the mid-19th century and past 1,000 years. Pretty scary stuff, if you ask me.

Source: plantseed.com

Source: plantseed.com

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Post climate change Summer Olympic events

• Sauna cycling
• Climate change denier decathlon (make them run till they drop)
• Heat wave high-jumping
• Swimming in sweat
• Bad ass butt-blistering badminton
• Empty pool concrete crawl
• Track and burnt to a crisp fields
• Diving into melted marshmallows
• Hop, skip, and puddle jump
• Arid aerobics
• Hot as hell hammer throw
• Molten lava shot put (can you say hot potato?)
• Blistering baseball
• Torrid tennis
• Fiery flame fencing
• Hot foot gymnastics
• Desert doom marathon
• Asphalt egg-frying
• Perspiration polo
• Dead tree trunk lifting
• Bermuda short boxing
• Water bottle relay
• Mirage javelin  and discus throw
• Greenhouse gym-gastics
• Wrestling with guilt (everyone qualifies)

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Mapping costly climatic disasters in the USA

Here is a fascinating map depicting those areas of the United States with the most and least billion dollar disasters since 1980.  If you want to avoid destructive weather and climate related disasters, the south is not the place to be. On the other hand, Hawaii, Alaska, Wyoming, Michigan, New England, and Puerto Rico appear to be the safest. Sadly, with the recent glut of monstrous wildfires, Colorado may no longer be among the safer places.

Source: blog.cleanenergy.org

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Are summer turf wars really necessary?

While I was riding my bike to work the other morning, I stopped for a traffic signal to change.  As I was sitting there, I noticed four separate lawn care crews at the intersection, each distinguished by the rumble of their oversized diesel pick-up truck and attached utility trailer filled with mowers, leaf blowers and a litany of other lawn care tools and instruments. It was if reveille had been blown and the competing armies were on the move across the front lines of the summer turf wars.

In all honesty, I have never quite figured out what all the fuss is about regarding having the perfectly manicured lawn. They look so sterile and are hardly natural. You get far more interesting wildlife by “de-sterilizing” it some.

Manicured lawns may be aesthetically pleasing to some, but traditional turf is hardly good for the environment. So much of the crapola we spread, spray, pour, drop, or distribute ends up washing right down our collective storm sewers and right into the local watering holes turning them into yucky and smelly algae blooms.

When I was looking at houses some time back, a realtor told me that one homeowner they knew actually used a carpenter’s level to make sure his grass was neat, tidy, and evenly cut. As my dad used to say, “if it is green it is good.” Thankfully, he never obsessed for the perfect lawn in sure a manner.

Neither have I. Fertilizer or weed killer have been rarely applied to my lawns and then if it must, it had to be organic. I also fail to see the need to drench your yard when dry conditions take place. The grass goes dormant and brown. So what? As soon as the weather turns, it will turn green again.

While lawn care services proliferate the yellow pages, advertising, and other media, most of the time I see the summer turf wars as good money being wasted by consumers on elusive dreams. That money could have been used for something more environmentally friendly and far more productive.

Lastly, instead of hiring a service, maybe more people should get off their duff and get some light exercise taking care of their property. Every little bit helps, particularly in this era of gargantuan soft drinks, super-sized servings, and sugar-coated everything else. Just a thought.

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Wasting money on superfluous shit

In these tough times of school funding crises, budget cuts, and program elimination, one local elementary school went the extra mile to improve education. they installed a digital changing message sign on the outside wall of the facility. Are you freakin’ kidding me?

Who cares if the money came from the Parent-Teacher Organization (PTO), the use of those funds for such a frivolous device is patently offensive. In my opinion it should have been used to provide meals to less fortunate children, provide pay raises for underpaid staff, or used to buy books and other “educational materials.” And why did they install this ridiculous electronic toy?

Because so many parents drive their kids to school, it was a way to communicate upcoming events and notices to them. Say what? Anyone ever heard of handouts or fliers?

Not only was money (approx. $10,000) wasted on silly signage instead of true education, but gasoline continues to be guzzled in an inefficient manner and kids are being chauffeured to school instead of walking/biking/or riding the bus, creating twice-daily mini-gridlock outside of the school building. There’s logic for you. NOT!

Personally, I would have preferred them use the money to develop a Safe Routes to School program that would lessen the need for chauffeuring, improve health and fitness,  and teach the children about environmental sustainability and stewardship.

What is the educational benefit in this sign? As far as I can see, there is none, other than to tell the kids that their education is secondary to “superfluous shit” t0 make their particular elementary school more “elite” than its counterparts in the district.  Wow – there’s a lesson plan that could be tossed in the landfill of stupid ideas.

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