If sharks ruled the earth

• I thought they already did?
• The world would be a lot more chummy.
• Razor-sharp teeth would be a fashion statement for more than just vampires.
• Steven Spielberg would be required to change the conclusion Jaws and its sequels.
• Vampires wouldn’t be the only blood-thirsty ones running around.
• Being a loan shark would be an important honor.
• Vegetarianism and veganism would be outlawed.
• Drift nets would be banned (a good thing).
• The San Jose Sharks would have to play their hockey games in an aquarium to standing caudal fin only crowds.
• “Sink your teeth into that one” and “getting hammered” would have whole new meanings.
• Shark fin soup would be replaced by person toenail soup.
• Piranha’s would be made goodwill ambassadors.
• Everyone must drive a Barracuda or a Stingray.
• All vacations must be taken to a coral reef where guests are invited to be…ahem, for dinner.
• When our friends in the U.K. say the term “bloody” they will darn well mean it.
• “Shark Week” would be every week on the Discovery Channel.

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More musings

• What exactly is a wild goose chase? Is it like a greased pig contest?
• If we are so free and have so many liberties in the United States, then why can’t a female state legislator in Michigan say the word “vagina” without be censored by her conservative male counterparts?
• It is unfortunate that the parents of some conservative pundits and politicians didn’t do a better job of practicing birth control.
• If a cow can jump over the moon, why isn’t that factoid listed in the Guinness Book of World Records?
• If several states, including Michigan have towns named Climax, do you ever wonder which one came first? : )

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TV by the numbers in the U.S. and Canada

Just for fun, here is my list of television shows that include some sort of numerical value in their name, with a little help from Sporcle.

• Once Upon a Time
• One Day at a Time
• One Tree Hill
• One Versus 100  (two numbers)
• 1-800-Missing (two numbers, Canada)
• Stargate SG-1
• Jacob Two-Two (Canada)
• Twin Peaks
• Two Broke Girls
• Two and a Half Men
• Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place
• G2G (Canada)
• Third Rock from the Sun
• Three’s Company
• My Three Sons
• Numb3rs
• The Fifth Estate (Canada)
• Babylon 5
• Party of Five
• 7th Heaven
• Eight is Enough
• Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
• 9B (Canada)
• Deep Space 9
• Adam 12
• 6Teen (Canada)
• 16:9 (Canada)
• 18 to Life (Canada)
• 20/20
• 21 Jump Street
• This Hour Has 22 Minutes (Canada)
• 24
• 30 Rock
• 48 Hours
• Train 48 (Canada)
• Hawaii Five-0
• Car 54 Where Are You?
• 60 Minutes
• North of 60 (Canada)
• Studio 60 on Sunset Strip
• That 70s Show
• 72 Hours (Canada)
• 77 Sunset Strip
• 90 Minutes Live (Canada)
• 100 Huntley Street (Canada)
• Detroit 1-8-7
• Room 222
• Reno 911
• Mystery Science Theater 3000
• The 4400
• $25,000 Pyramid
• $64,000 Question
• Beverly Hills 90210
• $100,000 Pyramid
• Who Wants to be a Millionaire

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Name-dropping rock bands

With some help from boston.com, Here is my list of rock bands the have used a well-known person’s name in their band name:

• Abe Vigoda
• Brian Jonestown Massacre
• Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Jr.
• Dandy Warhols

• Dead Kennedys
• Dillinger Escape Plan
• Eve’s Plum
• Franz Ferdinand

• Jody Foster’s Army
• Jethro Tull
• Kathleen Turner Overdrive (innovative takeoff on Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
• Mr. T. Experience
• Mary Tyler Morphine
• Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head
• Norma Jean
• Ringo Deathstarr (really like the song in the video below)

• Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
• The Real Tuesday Weld
• The Woodrow Wilsons

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Two “screen gems”

Here are two wonderful movie marquees seen this holiday weekend that have been lovingly cared for over the years.

The Capri Drive-in located on US 12 west of Coldwater, Michigan.

Capri Drive-in

The Pickwick Theater on West Main Street in downtown Syracuse, Indiana – my personal favorite small town movie theater anywhere.

Pickwick Theater in Syracuse, Indiana

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Ann Arbor’s marquee marquees

Here are a couple of photos taken Monday evening of  the State and Michigan theaters located in downtown Ann Arbor. Always have loved old movie theater signs and marquees and these two are iconic.

State Theater

Michigan Theater

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Ten banes of a recreational bicyclist

This blog post is a follow-up to my previously one on the ten banes of a bicycle commuter post, but from the viewpoint of a recreational bicyclist. It was so popular, that I thought I would prepare a sequel – if Hollywood can do it, so can I. Just wait for the prequel – Ten Banes of a Tricycle Rider. : )

Since I am not a BMX or mountain biker, this list is from the point of view of a street or hybrid bike rider.

Here we go:

1. Lack of adequate bathroom facilities (particularly for #2 and for women) – this is more important the older you get.
2. Road shoulders that are missing, in disrepair, gravelly, or crumbled.
3. Dogs
4. Loose and uncompacted surfaces
5. Stupid and/or nasty drivers
6. Lack of directional signage
7. Flat tires
8. Vehicles that kick up stones
9. Unmaintained/rutted trails
10. Other trail users, including cyclists that wander aimlessly from side to side on the trail.

Please feel free to submit your banes as well and we will compare notes.

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Some more musings

If we scream for ice cream, do we cuss for custard? yell for Jello or gelato? and crow for yogurt?

If sweltering summer days are the “dog days,” then what are the freezing ones of winter – “cat nights?”

If I am considered to be a bird brain, then I chose to be a wise owl.

What exactly is a Holy Moly?

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Assorted musings

• When someone says they are “fair to Midland,” does that mean things will get progressively better or worse beyond Midland, Texas or Midland, Michigan?
• Ever notice that owners of expensive cars tend to drive slower than the rest of us. Is that just so they can show off their wheels by making us have to stare at them longer?
• Why do people bag their dog’s droppings, but then leave the fouled plastic bag sitting in the grass next to the sidewalk? Pick it up, diptwad!
• Why do commercials come through the TV speakers louder than the regular shows and why can’t technology overcome that?
• Why is there no such thing as a none-growing variety of lawn grass that has been genetically engineered for those of us who are sick and tired of pushing a damn lawn mower?
• Why the heck are there no playoffs yet in Division 1 college football?
• Ever wonder why we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
• Why is it that people continually vote against their own best interests?
• Exactly why does anyone give a rip about the Kardashians?
• Why isn’t beer the national pastime?
• Does Tennessee realize what Arkansas?
• It is said that everything is bigger in Texas – as far as the mouths and egos of their politicians, they are exactly right.
• Is new math really better than old math? I would like to see the test results.
• Ever wonder why so many in Ohio worship a nut? (buckeye)

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BEER – my current favorite brewski’s (UPDATED)

I enjoy a great tasting and refreshing beer and especially like finding new ones. My own taste buds tend to prefer traditional lagers, pilsners, reds, and wheat beers. I will drink pale ales and India Pale Ales, but prefer beers with a less “hoppy” taste. Here is my current list of my favorite beers:

-

Lagers (regular and/or light)

• Yuengling’s Traditional and Light – (Pottsville, PA)
• Heineken – (Netherlands)
• Amstel Light  - (Amsterdam, Netherlands)
• Labatt - (London, ON, Canada)

Pale Ale

• Duvel - (Belgium)

-

Pilsner

• Penn Pilsner – Penn Brewery (Pittsburgh, PA)

-

Red Ale  

• Steelhead Red - Grizzly Peak Brewing (Ann Arbor, MI)
• Riptide – Casco Bay Brewing (Portland, ME)
• Firehouse Red – North Country Brewing (Slippery Rock, PA)
• Red Ale – Rock Bottom Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN)

Wheat

• Celis White – Michigan Brewing (Greater Lansing-Webberville, MI)
• Oberon Ale – Bell’s Brewery (Kalamazoo-Galesburg, MI)
• Highway 22 Wheat – Marzoni’s Brick Oven & Brewing (Altoona-Duncansville, PA)
• Winter White – Bell’s Brewery (Kalamazoo-Galesburg, MI)
• Sunset Wheat – Leikenkugel’s Brewery (Chippewa Falls, WI

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